When our family office started to attend conferences - one of the things I was told and found out myself was that not every family office who says they are a family office really is.
The reason to do so seems obvious to me which is to find a way into the "family office community" where they believe lies the holy grail. What they don't understand is that if you are not a family office you will be found out fairly easily that you are not telling the truth and the community is a small one, meaning that you will lose all credibility and lose all opportunities to not only do business with not one family offices but many.
Family offices and Patriarchs are always getting approached so they are skeptical in the first place. The best approach is to be honest and if you are focusing on family offices then say you are focused on family offices. Handler Thayer in Chicago is a great example. They cater to the family office space, they are a law firm and not a family office yet they are "known" in the family office community and have quite a large number of wealthy families. In addition when speaking with Tom Handler one of the partners a number of months ago he mentioned that he sees each new relationship as a 5-year period to get to know one another till business will be potentially be done together. I believe this just goes to show that penetrating the family office space takes time and a commitment as family offices are wanting to see if you are committed for the long haul.
This "real" family office issue is the same in Asia where I had the opportunity to have a call with another family office in Singapore just this morning. They run into the same issue and asked me "how do you know if they really are a family office or not because so many people try to hold themselves out to be a family office?"
I believe being up front is the best thing you can do if you want to work in the family office space. Also you may also want to use words of advice from my own Patriarch which is:
"If you want advice ask for money - if you want money ask for advice"
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